Don’t Let Comparison Tear You Down

I remember when Julie and I first stepped into leading our church, Christ Fellowship. We had been on staff for over twenty years serving my parents’ vision as they built the church, but this was different. Now, we were leading. I remember comparing myself to my dad. Tom Mullins truly is one of the greatest men that has ever lived—full of integrity and character. He has a way of connecting with anyone from Uber drivers to presidents of nations. He can preach, lead, and solve complicated problems without even breaking a sweat. And I had to follow in his footsteps.

In addition to that, as I was beginning to preach regularly, John Maxwell was often seated on the front row listening to me. Talk about being intimidated. John and his wife, Margaret, had moved down to Florida, and John had joined our teaching team. For some reason, during the season I was stepping in to preach, he was home…a lot.

I felt myself constantly comparing my preaching to John’s or my dad’s. I would watch other pastors online and think, “They preach so much better than I do. I can’t do this!” Comparison wasn’t helping me get better; it was stirring up feelings of insecurity and doubt, and it was about to take me out as I was just getting started.

I remember the weekend when everything changed. I was preaching, and John was on the front row taking notes. In the middle of preaching, I thought, “What could I possibly be saying that John Maxwell would want to write down?” But instead of being intimidated, I decided to go straight to John after the service and ask him for coaching. I decided to lean into the discomfort and get the most out of it. I asked one of the best communicators on the planet to help me get better. Every week that John was on the front row, I would ask him the same question. And every week, he coached and corrected me, helping me improve in my communication skills. I flipped comparison on its head that day and leveraged it for my good.

I’ve tried to transfer that lesson to other areas of my life as well. When I’m around people who have the gift of generosity, I ask them about their giving journey. What motivates them to freely give what they have? When I’m around people who have built amazing companies, instead of being intimidated because I don’t understand their industry, I ask them leadership questions. What drives them? How do they come up with innovative ideas? When I’m around men in our church who are great husbands and fathers, instead of feeling insecure about how I’m doing in those areas, I get them to talk about their passion for their family—why they love being a dad. And all of it helps me grow and become a bigger person.

To learn more about Todd Mullins’s latest book, Don’t Let Doubt Take You Out, visit MyCharismaShop.com